My husband and I had a lively debate on the morning of Pink Shirt Day because our views on bullying (and many other things) differ. He thinks that the experience of bullying is subjective so it can’t really be defined. He feels that bullying is a problem with a fairly simple solution while I tend to see it from a bigger picture perspective. I feel like I have a larger stake in the understanding of bullying. As a mother, I neither want my children to be bullies nor be bullied by others. As a woman in a position of leadership, I always have to examine my behaviour to ensure that I am not participating in power dynamics that diminish people around me. Especially those where I am in the up power role. As an advocate, I have to ensure that I stand up for people when I see that they are being wronged. While I agree that bullying is a difficult problem to define, one thing that I can say for certain is that bullying is happening in our schools, workplaces and communities and it requires a multifaceted approach to find resolution.

Bullying can be either covert or overt, meaning that it can range from highly visible and obvious (ie. physical assault) to far more hidden in nature (ie. rumours, gossip, implied threats). Estimates of the prevalence of bullying amongst school children range from around 12-20% of kids reporting that they have experienced bullying recently. There are a number of differences that affect the rates of bullying including gender and being a part of a social subgroup. Youth who identify as part of the LGBTQ2*+ community experience much higher rates of bullying. Something that I found very interesting as I took a look at some of the research on bullying is according to the Red Cross, 71% of teachers say that they intervene in bullying while only 25% of students report teacher’s intervening. This is not a criticism of teachers. I think it speaks to the amount of victimization that happens outside of our line of sight.

Bullying and harassment don’t just occur in schools. Studies on workplace bullying from the University of Windsor state that 40% of people reported being bullied in the last 6 months. Bullying in the workplace leads to decreased productivity, higher costs in terms of absenteeism, sick leave and disability, increased turnover, higher levels of mental health concerns, increased substance use, physical health problems…the list goes on and on. This research also shows that human resources departments often don’t respond seriously to worker complaints and that the best course of action for a person being bullied at work is to quit. The Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety lists the following as examples of workplace bullying:

Spreading malicious rumours, gossip, or innuendo.
Excluding or isolating someone socially.
Intimidating a person.
Undermining or deliberately impeding a person's work.
Physically abusing or threatening abuse.
Removing areas of responsibilities without cause.
Constantly changing work guidelines.
Establishing impossible deadlines that will set up the individual to fail.
Withholding necessary information or purposefully giving the wrong information.
Making jokes that are 'obviously offensive' by spoken word or e-mail.
Intruding on a person's privacy by pestering, spying or stalking.
Assigning unreasonable duties or workload which are unfavourable to one person (in a way that creates unnecessary pressure).
Underwork - creating a feeling of uselessness.
Yelling or using profanity.
Criticising a person persistently or constantly.
Belittling a person's opinions.
Unwarranted (or undeserved) punishment.
Blocking applications for training, leave or promotion

I was disappointed to find that in a number of articles I came across, there was an undertone of blame that was directed at the targets of bullying. For example, the suggestion that children and adults who are more shy and anxious are more sensitive to the behaviour of others which may lead them to label these behaviours as bullying. Or the statement that if a youth is being targeted on social media, their parents should take away the phone.

Of all the potential responses suggested to promote a more positive approach to bullying, I found the phenomenon of the bystander effect to hold particular relevance. Fundamentally, when we see someone being mistreated, we stop being bystanders and start being active resistors to bullying and violence. We teach our kids to do the same and we encourage our colleagues to stand up as well. When we hold positions of power, we take people’s concerns seriously and give them the attention they deserve. We help people to have a voice when they are struggling to find their own. And we do this the other 364 days of the year where we don’t wear a pink shirt (or 365 on a leap year).

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Being a Buddy All Year Long: Some Thoughts on Bullying